My Achilles Heel

I believe we are all born with an Achilles heel.  Something that has carried over from a previous life that was not resolved, and that is continuing with us through a new life in the attempt to make our souls grow.  It could be anything from a physical ailment such as knee pain to a personality trait such as a short temper.  We may go through life not even realizing this weakness within ourselves, or we may discover it and struggle in finding a way to overcome it.

I was reminded of my Achilles heel last night upon waking in a sweat from an emotionally intense dream.  Personally I don’t believe when a “dream” is that emotional it is truly a dream, but rather our souls experiencing a parallel reality, but I won’t dive into that at this point.  For argument’s sake I’ll refer to it as a dream.  In the dream I was trying to avoid a former friend who had emotionally hurt me in that he stopped being my friend for no apparent reason.  I was forced to confront him and in doing so started screaming and crying demanding to know what went wrong in our friendship.  Unfortunately I woke up before I got my answers.

I’ve had this dream many times in the past.  The person in the dream can change as well as the situation we’re experiencing, but it is always the same.  The screaming.  The crying.  The emotional abandonment and the struggle to understand what went wrong.  The yearning for answers that never come.

The inability to truly let go of those whom I’ve lost without explanationthat is my Achilles heel.

I can handle losing loved ones to death.  Death is an explanation in itself for the loss.  I can understand people changing and growing apart over time and just slowly losing contact or interest in one another.  That is part of life.

What I’ve never been able to handle and what I’ve struggled with for years is when a person who is very close to me just leaves my life without any explanation.  I move on from it; I have to.  But I never truly heal.  The lack of closure stays buried within me.  Sometimes random things will trigger a memory and I’m reminded of the person and feel sad.  The dreams are the worst though.  I believe they are my subconscious way of trying to find answers and closure.  I wake up from them emotionally exhausted and frustrated because I can’t find a way to make them stop.

For years I did not recognize my Achilles heel.  In having a past life regression session I was able to uncover that I had been physically abandoned by loved ones in a previous life.  This helped me to come to terms with why I react with more intensity than most to the emotional loss of people, why I can’t just “let go” the way the average person does.  This discovery did help scale back the frequency of my emotionally bad dreams.  The session only provided the background to my problem though.  It did not tell me how to overcome or avoid it.

I’ve come a long way overall.  I can now recognize triggers, and I can let go a little easier than I did in the past.  I hold onto the hope that when I enter the spirit world one day I will come to find the answers which I have been deprived of in this life.  The answers that only those who have left me can provide, but for whatever reason, choose not to.  Until then I will continue to work on overcoming the challenge one emotionally bad dream at a time.

About Tracy

Runner. Writer. Reader. Environmental and Indigenous Peoples advocate. Work from home Workforce Specialist. NASM Certified Personal Trainer. Assistant Varsity Track Coach. Fascinated by the ocean, waterfalls and Christmas lights.
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