Dear Lindsey and Freddie

Everyday that I read about your fight against cancer I’m at a loss for words.  What does someone say to people in your situation?  I know I tell you to keep fighting which I know you will, but beyond that what more can I say to comfort you, to give you strength, to reassure you that it’s going to be ok?

I know multiple people with cancer and while no one should ever have to suffer through it, your story hits me hardest.  Maybe it’s the innocence of Zoey and Kenzie knowing you can’t really explain to them what’s going on beyond “Daddy’s sick”.  Maybe it’s knowing Freddie’s put his life on the line more than once for this country, and it seems like a cruel twist of fate that he should have to fight another war.  Maybe it’s because I know the energy you two have, the zeal for life and experiencing anything and everything you can and knowing that has to be put on hold right now, and you don’t know when you’ll get to go back to “normal” again.

It makes me angry.  Cancer shouldn’t exist.  I get frustrated because I know we as humans created it.  It’s in the air we breahe, the food we eat, the chemicals we use to clean, and try as we may to avoid it, it’s still out there.  We have a million medicines for every ailment it seems, but no “super drug” to just kill it for good.  The sad part is we should.  All the money, all the research and we are still waiting for a true cure.

I suppose most people don’t know how strong they can truly be until they’re given no choice but to be strong.  The strength you both have amazes me everyday.  The smiles you’re able to form, the jokes you’re able to crack, and the love you’re able to maintain amid chaos are inspiring.

I get frustrated because I want to do so much for you that I can’t.  Sure I can donate money, bring over some groceries or post some meme on Facebook.  It’s not what I want to be able to do for you though.  I want to give you health and time.  I want to give you Oct. 3rd as what it was originally supposed to be.  I want to give you baseball games and walks with the girls and trivial fights over who didn’t fold the laundry.  I want to give you 100% reassurance that everything is going to be fine.

Some days it’s hard to go about my day to day because I either tear up or cry thinking about what you two are facing and how unfair it is.  I have always been a firm believer in everything happening for a reason, but cancer is one thing that has never fit into that for me.  It’s one thing that defies all logic, all emotion, all modern medicine.

I feel like there’s nothing I can say that I haven’t already said, but I’ll say it again anyway.  I’m here for you both.  As an ear, as a shoulder, as someone to distract Zoey in the evening if you need some one on one time.  If there’s any couple who can beat all of this, it’s the two of you.  You have an army of family and friends who are here every step of the way, and we won’t let you lose hope.  Everyday is a battle, some may be victories and some may be setbacks, but this is a war you two can win.  #Fireproof  #Freddiestrong


About TracyNicole

Runner. Writer. Reader. Environmental advocate. Fascinated by the ocean, waterfalls and Christmas lights. Inspired by Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Elon Musk.
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