Spontaneity: voluntary or undetermined action or movement (www.m-w.com)
I was thinking tonight in the shower (because it seems as if I only ever think when I’m showering or running) about how little spontaneity I have in my life the older I get. While I’ve always been far from a spontaneous person (no random cross country road trips for me), I’ve always had a twinge of it, much like I’ve always had a bit of creativity. It has come to my attention that like my creativity, I need to take some action to inspire myself to find that once spontaneous portion of my character.
I am a perfectionist. Not necessarily in the way that I believe everything has to be perfect, but rather certain categories must be perfect according to my own internal standards. Cleaning ranks very high on that list of categories with regularly exercising vying for a top spot as well. In my goal to create my “perfect life” it seems as if I have routinized myself to the point of having little to no spontaneity.
There are some things that consume my time that will always be a given such as my work schedule. I also am fairly strict about going to bed at the same time and with the exception of weekends and holidays, getting up at the same time also. I like being able to wake up without the alarm clock going off most days, and how much healthier I feel having my body on a set sleep schedule. The hours I spend outside of work and sleep, however, are mine for the choosing. Instead of utilizing this “free time” to engage in unplanned, carefree activities, I tend to create a strict schedule for myself. Each week I mentally map out which evenings I will be working out including what workout I will do, which evenings I will clean and what I will clean, and which evenings I will make quick dinners vs more time consuming ones. I do “schedule” more fun things such as watching The Originals on Tuesdays at 8 and The Vampire Diaries on Thursdays at 8. In fact, my schedule including dinner tends to be developed around those two evenings knowing those nights will automatically have an hour deducted from them. Nearly every evening when my boyfriend Jason gets home we will watch a show on Netflix or play a game together on the Kindle before watching The Daily Show at 11. On the weekends we almost always go out to eat Saturday evening followed by going to the grocery store. Sunday mornings are typically reserved for making breakfast together. While our weekends aren’t as ritualized as my evenings during the week, the routine of them does become apparent after some time.
It’s not that routine is a bad thing. I find I get a lot more accomplished with having a routine. Most families would not function well without somewhat of a dictated routine. I just find that in having one, I lose the chance to be spontaneous. In fact, I often get upset if unplanned things disrupt my routine because then I find I must reconfigure it in my head. I am much more appreciative of things being planned out. I always know in advance which weekends my parents are going to visit and which I am going to visit them. I like the fun of planning vacations in advance, ironing out all the details as the trip approaches. Random unplanned weekend getaway? Can’t say I’ve ever experienced one.
Much like rediscovering a way to be creative, I know I must find a way to be more spontaneous. It seems almost like an oxymoron though… “I must plan on being more spontaneous.” It adds adventure and fun and interest to life. The unpredictability I’m sure works the brain in ways that following the same old routine doesn’t. It also gives a chance to explore something new, take a chance, figure out something about yourself. I found blogging as a way to rediscover my creativity. Now I just need to find a trigger for spontaneity.